A Little Onion For Ya

Chicago Rolls Out Cold-Weather Prostitutes

CHICAGO—"When temperatures drop, you need a girl you can count on," said area resident Phillip Eadie, who mounted four cold-weather hookers earlier this month.

And if you didn't know, we also have Cold Weather Drug Dealers, Cold Weather Gang Bangers, and Cold Weather Street Preachers.

DOT: Dangerous Intersection Causing Some Pretty Cool Accidents

SACRAMENTO, CA—A series of wicked brutal wrecks at the intersection of McKinley and Grove have been officially classified as "spec-fucking-tacular."