19 and No! (Pat's Suck)

Boston police today reported finding a body in the Charles River.

The victim apparently drowned due to excessive alcohol consumption.

He was described as wearing black fishnet stockings, a red garter belt, a pink wig, a strap-on dildo, a Patriot's jersey, and had a cucumber stuffed up his ass.

The police graciously removed the Patriot's jersey to spare the family unnecessary embarrassment.