Five Reasons Why The Goonies Roxass

We've all seen it, we all loved it, and if you didn't, then you just suck ass bigtime. Here's a brief summary of why it kicked ass so much.

1. The whole plot revolved around a pirate. One eyed Willy. Pirates kick ass, so of course any movie about them or with them will in turn kick ass.

2. It had the four components for an 80's movie with kids. There was the fat kid, the wisecracker, the Asian kid, and the dreamer. Put 'em all together, and we have ourselves a wacky adventure.

3. The Fratellis. Anne Ramsey was great as Mama Fratelli. That woman was just scary by herself. No wonder Danny DeVito wanted to throw her from a train.
Don't forget Joe Pantoliano (aka Joey Pants) played one of her bungling sons.

4. Corey Feldman. What's an 80's movie without him? A FLOP!! I guess a bunch of movies with him are flops too.

5. Sloth. Need I say more.

There are a million more reasons why, but these are the only ones my liquor soaked mind can think of right now. Let me know if you have anymore.