Friday, February 9

Quote Of The Day

"Be regular and orderly in your life, so that you may be violent and original in your work."

-Gustave Flaubert-

Mixed Up Movie Trailers

Something I've seen floating around the net for a while are these re-edited movie trailers. I get a kick out of these things especially when the re-edit is damn near the opposite of what the movie is really about.
I pulled a few of the better ones together here. Starting off with a great one from the Shining.

Groundhog Day
Mary Poppins
Coming To America
Nightmare on Brokeback Mountain The 13th
Dumd and Dumber
American Pie
Now that s enough of that crap.

I'm Speechless

Can you find pants to fit that?

Hot Links

The Monkey
A good idea for a bad idea.
B-Ball Stars
I wanna see them dunk.
Oooooold School Soul Train
Where's Don Cornelius?
Stalker Guilt Syndrome
I'm gonna follow you home and go through your garbage.
Designer or Natural
I never knew this site existed. Guess I should have.
Superficial Friends
Lohans voice is the shit.
Helluva Bottle Opener
Try that again after you've had a few.
Wonder How We Taste?
Baskin Robbins ain't got shit on this place.
Sittin' On Chrome
Too much chrome.
Pop-a-Shot Web Style
I suck at this.

Thursday, February 8

Anna Nicole Smith 1967 - 2007

Everybody has to go sometime. From stripper, to millionaire wife, to Playmate of the year, to running joke. Let's just sit back and remember why we all watched this train wreck go down. I predict Britney Spears is next.

Feb. 8, 2007— Anna Nicole Smith, a former Playboy bunny, reality television star and model, was pronounced dead today at the Memorial Regional Hospital in Hollywood, Fla.

Full Story

It Takes Two to Tango

This time one of the two is Peyton Manning. I don't think we'll see him winning "Dancing With The Stars" like Emmit Smith.

The best part is when the girl sacks him at the end. Girlacher.

Meet The New Peyton Manning

I've made a lot of stupid bets in my day, and I'm sure I'll make a few more, but this guy takes the cake. As confident as I was that the Bears would win the Superbowl, I would not have ever in a million years made this bet. I just can't fuck with my name like that.

Chicago Bears fan Scott Wiese holds an official name change petition as he prepares to enter the Macon County Circuit Clerk's office in Decatur, Ill., to file a request to change his name to Peyton Manning. Wiese told his buddies before the Super Bowl that the Bears were such a lock to win, that if they didn't he would change his name to that of the Indianapolis Colts quarterback. (AP/Herald & Review, Kelly J. Huff)

Full Story

Division II Basketball at its Finest

One of these days I'm gonna go to a Chicago State University game.

A Draem Deferred is a Deram Denied

No matter what the race, Texans never cease to amaze me.

Wednesday, February 7

Quote Of The Day

"The air is filled with poo and dander, it's like a German porn"

-Mike Rowe-

Today In Black History

On this day in 1869, Rufus Jefferson of Newport, RI., changed the tobacco business forever.
While reading the daily newspaper he proceeded to roll his morning cigarette. What Rufus did not know was that earlier that day his wife, Virginia, had inadvertently dropped a few mint leaves in his tobacco pouch.
Rufus went ahead and smoked his cigarette, but this time something was different. Historians believe that this is the moment he said to his slim wife Virginia, "I feel alive with pleasure!".
With a simple mistake and the right timing, the menthol cigarette was born. Forever changing the way the black man would smoke.
Rufus went on to die of lung cancer, broke and destitute. He was a chain smoking black man in the 1800's, what did you expect?

It Hurts To Think

I went out last night and drank until I thought the Bears won the Superbowl. My brother was with me, and he just drank 'til he threw up. Turns out that didn't take too long. I then had to work today, but all day I couldn't stop thinking about the movie Deliverance. I need to exercise that demon from my head. Hopefully this will help.

Uploaded by dtmcshakes

I think I'm gonna dance around like the old man now.

Tuesday, February 6

Li-Kung Lee

I love this guy. His videos on proper firework safety probably aren't meant to be funny, but the crack me the fuck up anyway.
I think this is my favorite one.

Check out his homepage and other videos here.

McDonald vs. WacArnolds

I remember back in 1990 when the "Calvin" McDonalds commercial first came out. Me and my friends laughed our asses off because the concept was a nice positive idea in a perfect world, but we saw the reality behind it.

At a time when crack was at it's peak, and gang violence was all over the streets, a job at McDonalds wasn't gonna make much of a difference. Once again Dave Chapelle is here to shed some light on the situation.

"Is It 1981?"

I've tried to forget him, I've tried to act like I've never even heard of him, but there's no way to get away from Gallagher.
This week alone I've already seen two shows that have made reference to him. First "Family Guy" and then "Chapelle's Show". Of course I had to have a clip of at least one of those shows. But just in case you've never seen Gallagher's high brow brand of comedy, check this clip out before you see Black Gallagher.

Monday, February 5

I Will Beat Yo Ass

Some of my friends had mothers were like this. I was lucky, my father just used a thick black leather belt.

We Interupt Your Usual Programming

Usually this would be a part of Hot Links, but this was so stupid that it needed to be by itself. This guy is about to do some of the dumbest shit I've seen in a while. Enjoy

We've All Been Here

Who hasn't felt like doing this at work?

Sunday, February 4

A Sad Chicagoin.

Right now I'm sitting in what's left of a now flat Superbowl party. There's plenty of beer left, lots of food left but the party is gone now.

The Bears just lost the Superbowl. It's a hard thing to stomaches right now. It's just not the way I wanted to see this season end.

It's -4 degress outside with a -18 wind chill factor
It's a cold night in Chicago but,
We'll get 'em next year.

Saturday, February 3

Quote Of The Day

"If God had wanted man to play soccer, He wouldn't have given us arms."

-"Iron" Mike Ditka-

This Is Making Me Thirsty

I suddenly got the urge to buy some cookies.

Friday, February 2

Not a Bad Idea

This shit is nuts like squirrel cheeks. Crazy like Patsy Kline, or Gnarls Barkley, whichever you prefer.

Hot Links

Show me those headlights
Flashy underwear
Jerry Jackson
This stuff is just weird
Heroin For Christmas
Kinda goofy.
Makes Me Wanna Cry
You'd think one of them had been to one.
Tiger Woods, Linebacker
That's Not How You Battle
Dude couldn't handle the dis
Madd Skillz
Can't believe what I'm seeing here.
Even God's Not Above Copyright Law
The Case of NFL vs. Jesus

I'd Love A Vintage Pointed Stick

I'm A Superstar! You Can Ask One Of My Therapist

Even though I hate American Idol with a passion, I had to share this talent with the world. I ran across a clip of this contestant, and I was impressed by his raw energy. He's one of the most entertaining performers I've seen since William Hung.

Pretty Good For Some New Yorkers

I really liked this skit because it was a great parody of the gang war in Chicago back in the late '80 and early '90. Back when you got shot over your shoes or hat. And Dave Chapelle must of done his research, 'cause they got the shit right. Even down to the stupid slang and accent. Watch this shit you trick ass marks!!!

Video sent by dtmcshakes

Thursday, February 1

Drugs Will Help. Not Prescription Either.

I suggest you drop some acid, smoke some weed, or eat some shrooms before you watch this. I do not suggest coke, meth, or ex. Any of those and you'll have a seizure when you watch this.
This shit just straight messed my head up. After posting this, I have to just go lie down for a while.

Pre-Superbowl Hafltime Show

Just in case you humps forgot how great Prince was and is, I give you some really, really old stuff. This is an American Bandstand performance from 1979. Back before The Revolution. Too bad this was lip-synched.