Tuesday, February 5

Gone But Not Forgotten

So I'm looking around the web today, you know, looking for the inane, insane, asinine, and porn of course, and I stumble upon this shit.
Back in the day before the world became so "politically correct", ad agencies and most people in general just said anything they wanted. To hell if it was a stereotype, offensive, or just a plain old bad idea, anything went back then.
And the kicker was that it sold products.
I present these two commercial for your entertainment.

First let's take a look at the "poor Chinese baby", with his "glape", Jello.

Now let's watch Fred and Barney be schills for Winston.

Now I'll step down off my soapbox and get back to my Jameson.

Monday, February 4

A Tribute To Yo Mama

Sungtines you just have to sit down and figure out how many Yo Mama jokes you can think of in 5 minutes. Here's my list:

Yo mama's so old, I told her to act her age and the bitch died.

Yo mama's so old, she owes Fred Flintstone a food stamp.

Yo mama's so old, the key on Ben Franklin's kite was to her apartment.

Yo mama's so old, her memory is in black and white.

Yo mama's so old, her social security number is 1.

Yo mama's so old, her birth-certificate expired.

Yo mama's so old, she has a picture of Jesus in her yearbook.

Yo mama's so old, she knew Mr. Clean when he had an afro.

Yo mama's so old, she's got Jesus' beeper number.

Yo mama's so old, when she was in school there was no history class.

Yo mama's so old, when she reads the bible she reminisces.

Yo mama's so old, when she was born, the Dead Sea was just getting sick.

Yo mama's so old, she called the cops when David and Goliath started to fight.

Now let's go with how fat she is....

Yo mama's so fat, when she ran away, they had to put her picture on the milk truck.

Yo mama's so fat, when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips.

Yo mama's so fat, when she dances at a club, she makes the band skip.

Yo mama's so fat, on Halloween she trick or treats two houses at a time.

Yo mama's so fat, I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her good side.

Yo mama's so fat, when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.

Yo mama's so fat, she fills up the bath tub, and then she turns on the water.

Yo mama's so fat, they had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get her through.

Yo mama's so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down.

Yo mama's so fat, when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease, the doctor gave her 5 years to live.

Thanks for your time, and tell your moms I said hi.

Carl Let's Us Know How He Feels

How!?! What!?!?

Sunday, February 3

19 and No! (Pat's Suck)

Boston police today reported finding a body in the Charles River.

The victim apparently drowned due to excessive alcohol consumption.

He was described as wearing black fishnet stockings, a red garter belt, a pink wig, a strap-on dildo, a Patriot's jersey, and had a cucumber stuffed up his ass.

The police graciously removed the Patriot's jersey to spare the family unnecessary embarrassment.

Quote Of The Day

"They were gonna have the burlesque show yesterday, but apparently whores don't like snow"

-Josh H.-