Wednesday, January 31

Here's Your Winner Bitches!!!

Vote this commercial into the Superbowl. Oh wait...I mean "The Big Game". Don't wanna get sued now.

See the other four suckers ideas here.

You Know The Muppet Show Kick's Ass

I think this was one of my favorite clips from the Muppet Show.

The musical guest they got on the show always tripped me out. Can you image being a huge star and performing with a bunch of puppets. How high did most of these guys have to be.
Johnny Cash
Alice Cooper
Harry Belafonte
Kenny Rogers You know he was drunk.
Leo Sayer He can't Lip-sync for shit.
And last but far from least.
N.W.A Fuck The Police

You're So Vain. And Stupid.

I was talking to my mother today, and somehow the Carly Simon song "You're So Vain", got mentioned. Now the chorus goes as follows:

"You're so vain, you probably think this song is about you
You're so vain, I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't You?"

Well Carly, you fucking idiot, isn't it?
Who the fuck are you singing about then?

Just had to get that off my chest.

And now to get your mind off that crap,
here's some Urlacher crap.

Quote Of The Day

"I work harder than a cat trying to bury shit on a marble floor"

-Overheard in a grocery store-

Tuesday, January 30

Some Stuff I Saw On T.V.

Live Action Simpson Intro

I know this has been done before, but I still love it anyway.

Sunday, January 28

Nolte, Busey. and Kristofferson. What More Can You Ask For?

Check out Wicked Awesome Films to see a few more short clips from these guys. They've got a few other funny ones on here.

Saturday, January 27

Bear Down

This morning a Gary, Indiana kindergarten teacher explains to her class that she is an Indianapolis Colts fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Colts fans, too. Not really knowing what a Colts fan was, but wanting to be liked by their teacher, their hands
flew into the air.

There is, however, one exception. Lorenzo has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks him why he has decided to
be different. "Because I'm not a Colts fan" he reports.

"Then," asks the teacher, "what are you?"

"I'm a Chicago Bears fan," boasts the little boy.

The teacher asks Lorenzo why he is a Bears fan.
"Well, my Dad and Mom are Bears fans, so I'm a Bears fan, too" he responds.

"That's no reason," the teacher says. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was an idiot. What would you be then?"

Lorenzo smiles and says, "Then I'd be a Colts fan."

Go Bears!!!

This Is Really Fucked Up

I won't even get into how I feel about this beyond the headline.
Just go ahead and read the story yourself.
Form your own opinion.
Anybody that reads this, please leave a comment. I just wanna know what you think. Doesn't matter if it's good or bad.

Wednesday, January 24

Hot Links

Flea Market
It's Just Like A Mini Mall
Estelle Getty Workout
Yes. I Said Estelle Getty. From the Golden Girls. This is just....I don't even have words for it.
Reality TV
You gotta love it. I Wish I coulda been there to see the pitch for this show.
That's what he gets for dressing like that.
Canadian Land Face
This one kinda creeped me out at first.
I Wanna Be Sedated
Sonny Bono looks blasted.
Thank God For Cups
Rasheid Davis caught more than a touchdown.


I don't even know how I found this. Wish I could get away with that. Infact I just may try.

Monday, January 22

For A Very Special Bronco's Fan.

You know who you are. :-P

Sorry. I had to do it. :-)

Quote Of The Day

"All you find at Wrigley Field is fags, yuppies, and trixies"

-Harold Mason-

Baby Back Bot Fly

Hot Links

Strawberry Pancakes
My favorite flash animation of all time.
Treehouse of Horrors XIV
Plus the rest of Season 15 and Full Season 17
Russian Speed Drinking
Chug a bottle of Vodka
Gobot Love
When I was young, I didn't snotice how obscene this is.
Hail on Earth
Baseball sized hail.
Damn Gringos
Hugo Chavez has ball. Hail sized balls.
Human Slingshot
Be more fun if you were'nt strapped in.
Welcome to the future
I think I haven't owned a cassette tape in 8 years now.
I've Nothing to Say

NFL = Niggas For Life

For the first time ever, we have not one, but two black coaches in the Superbowl. It took 86 years, but finally it happened.

First African-American head coach: Fritz Pollard, 1921 Akron, 1925 Hammond

First African-American quarterback in the NFL: Willie Thrower (Michigan State), Chicago Bears 1953 (Thats right, Da Bears)

First African-American head coach, modern era: Art Shell, 1989 Los Angeles Raiders

First African-American head coach to take team to Super Bowl: Lovie Smith, 2006 Chicago Bears; Tony Dungy, 2006 Indianapolis Colts

Now isn't it appropriate that the Superbowl is played in Febuary, Black History Month.

Friday, January 19

Gino The Ginny

Sometimes I get the strangest things in my bulletins on myspace.

Thursday, January 18

Pocket Change My Ass!

Once again, something that I thought was a joke until I went to the website.

Being rich isn't good enough anymore. These shmucks need help finding a woman.

I bet if I had the type of income you need to have to even get into this thing, I wouldn't have a problem in the world finding women. Hell! They would find me.
Money can't buy you love, but it sure can buy a whore.
That makes me wonder, what kinda Quasimoto type rich douchebag has to go this far to find companionship.

Really I'm just jealous.
Not of the rich men, but of the women.
I wish there was a service like this to hook me up with a rich sugar mama.

Now that's what I'm talkin'!

Check Out The Requirements

"Pocket Change is honoring the age old union of wealthy men and hot girls. Society has taught us to not publicly acknowledge the obvious - no longer dear friends. Women want money in a man, men want beauty in a woman – this is a factual force of nature. Women don’t ask “So, what does he do for a living?” because they’re interested in his personality and guys don’t ask “is she hot?” because they’re concerned with character. Guys know that money buys them the car, the house and the trophy wife. This genetic cleansing is how the wealthy stays beautiful."

Wednesday, January 17

Tiddy TIme

I thought this was a joke until I went to the Tiddy Bear website.
It's soft, It's cuddly, It's a Tiddy.

Monday, January 15

Halas Be Thy Name

"But deliver us from New Orleans"

Mars Ain't The Kinda Place To Raise A Kid

You Gotta Be Shittin' Me

New Zealand has so much great cinema to offer us.

Check out the Official Website

Todays Thought

In weightlifting, I don't think sudden, uncontrolled urination should automatically disqualify you.

Saturday, January 13

Quote Of The Day

"Yeah I drink and fall asleep, but when I get up, I gotta go to work. Then when I'm at work, I'm at work. It's like, 'Time to make the donuts'.

-David Jones-

Thursday, January 11

Monkey Washing a Cat

According to Jon Stewart, the new Democratic Congress promised us this.

Art Imitates Life......Well....Commercials Imitate Life

So have you seen the Carmax commercial in which a girl freaks out on on 16th birthday because her father bought her a car and it was the wrong color? Well if you haven't I have a clip of it right here.
Most of us look at the commercial, laugh, and think to ourselves what a spoiled bitch she must be. Then you step back and say, "It's just a commercial.". Well those ad guys had to get the idea from somewhere.

About three or four days before I saw the Carmax ad, I ran across this video.
The commercial was funny, but the reality behind it is fucking sad and disgusting.

Now how many of us reading this got a car on their sixteenth birthday? I sure as hell know I didn't. Now for those of you that did, tell me, was it new? Was it a Saab? Did you have the nerve to bitch about it being the wrong color?
The cool thing about all this is that, the spoiled bitch in the video has been immortalized on the internet. Any potential mate of hers should be directed to that clip, so he can give his choice a bit more thought.

Once again, she has given me one more reason why I hate people.

Wednesday, January 10


To celebrate this momentus occasion, I give you..........

I'm here to tell you about luck. It's known that when a half eaten dog falls from the sky, it's good luck. Thats what I'm here to tell you.

Saturday, January 6

That's Right Damnit!!!!! I Love The 80's

This shit is fucking hilarious.
I wanna see if I can find more of these.
Hopefully Street Fighter....The Later Years part 4 will be out soon.

The Story of George Micheal

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

VD is For Everybody

A sweet little song about VD from 1969. Back when syphilis was King.

Friday, January 5

Hot Links

Try and cash this check
The Darwin Awards
People never cease to amaze me
NES Games Playable in your browser
For the Old Skool in you
Greatest Album Covers Ever!!!
Okay.....I lied. They're the worst.
Drunk Russians
I couldn't stop looking at it.
Those Crazy Japanese.......again
No one ever said asian men can't jump.
He Had The Balls To Laugh
This clip is nuts. Or maybe not.

The Wire

For those of you that don't know, The Wire, is the best HBO series to come out in years. Yeah I know Arli$$ is hard to top, but The Wire did it.
It's made by some of the same writers and producers that made Homicide, Law and Order, and an HBO series named The Corner. I didn't get into the show until it reached the third season because I wrote it off as another cop drama. I couldn't have been further from wrong.
Turns out the show is completely different and really get you into the storyline that runs throughout all four seasons. If you've never seen it, it's worth giving a try.
B.E.T is gonna start showing it from season one pretty soon. It's all on DVD also, but I have a link to season one streamed online here.

A Little Onion For Ya

Chicago Rolls Out Cold-Weather Prostitutes

The Onion

Chicago Rolls Out Cold-Weather Prostitutes

CHICAGO—"When temperatures drop, you need a girl you can count on," said area resident Phillip Eadie, who mounted four cold-weather hookers earlier this month.

And if you didn't know, we also have Cold Weather Drug Dealers, Cold Weather Gang Bangers, and Cold Weather Street Preachers.

DOT: Dangerous Intersection Causing Some Pretty Cool Accidents

The Onion

DOT: Dangerous Intersection Causing Some Pretty Cool Accidents

SACRAMENTO, CA—A series of wicked brutal wrecks at the intersection of McKinley and Grove have been officially classified as "spec-fucking-tacular."

Tuesday, January 2

Two Heads Are Better Than One

I would not have believed this if I hadn't seen it myself.

The Hole - video powered by Metacafe